Do you ever look at your life, and look at your choices and think to yourself “holy fucking shit”? If not, I don’t think you’re doing it right. Living life, that is.

I’ve been having a lot of them lately, which I usually attribute to one of two polarized things: severe depression or creativity spurred by unabashed happiness. Today I am happy. I was also happy yesterday. Tomorrow looks good. I think this is because I stopped taking this one medicine and also I’m quite possibly moving on from that one break up. Oh, I’m also going to use this as a diary, attention span pending. SO many things to write about later including: my happiness and how I think the trees are beautiful again, fitness/hard-bodiedness, one-night stands, and how I want to have sex with everybody (everybody that I shouldn’t want to have sex with any way). And honesty and music and also probably the show Girls. Also, feminism, female identity and me. So, yeah, this bloggg has taken a bit of a turn. I also want to write some commentary about the word “yesterday” and how its made up of the word ‘yes’.

Do you ever run into someone you haven’t seen in years, and they don’t look that bad and think to yourself “I haven’t seen this person in years and I’m just lonely enough to confidently stalk them on the internet.”? What? What did you say? That doesn’t at all sound healthy? Well, I’ve never felt that way. It was a rhetorical question, of course. I was just at the grocery store and ran into this guy and just wondered if people out there ever thought something so sad and strange. But I didn’t have that reaction. Nuhu.

I have few childhood memories of my father that don’t involve him being odd. One of the odd things he used to do was bake a cake, willy-nilly out of the blue. Let me be clear that I am not complaining. Cake is delicious and though weird, my dad is a neat man. That being said, cake is usually reserved for special occasions or celebrations. Weddings, birthdays, retirement parties, holidays, achievements. They all warrant cake-eating. But perhaps there is a lesson here. Maybe everyday is a special occasion, maybe everyday alive is reason enough for celebration. Or, maybe cake is delicious and why the hell not eat it on a whim?

I’m a bad blogger. Perhaps “Summer vacation” will give me time to be an adamant blogger. (It wont.) Maybe I’ll blog about all of the fun and interesting things I have planned! (none.) OR maybe I will be freaking out so hard about how this isn’t “Summer vacation”that I wont have a second to spare because I;ll be planning my next life step. This is not just Summer. I graduated and am an adult living at home “taking a break” because I’ve been in school “for the past 16 years”. Rubbish. I don’t need a break but I didn’t apply to grad school so I get one anyway and I’m freaking. I feel like a loser. I’m watching the Canadian music awards for crying out loud. A day late. It doesn’t get much lower.

May 14/15-

One week before my college graduation. The last week as an undergrad. Erica Sanchez, thank you for such a glorious adventure. La Mirada ska band at 12:30, why the hell not? Glorious, glorious sweating, dancing with strangers, and feeling the music. I don’t remember when I’ve ever felt so alive. This is life and this is living.